There’s That Word Again…Respect.

There is that word again: Respect.

 It seems every time a rapper opens their mouth, they demand respect. As do others… In fact, we have an entire generation of people who feel no one respects them. Disrespect is the mantra many younger and middle-aged folks tend to throw out when they need something to go their way. It always comes up when they have no answers to serious social skill questions. Most are smart enough to figure it out if they are honest with themselves. There lies the problem: they often bend the truth to fit their idea of solving an issue.

As a child, I was taught that respect is earned by an individual, not automatically given, because one belongs to humanity. I’ve found it to be more rewarding that way. Yes, this comes from me, who used to hate authoritarian figures. I always seemed to run into people I felt didn’t belong in specific positions. They didn’t communicate with people or consult them when making decisions about a company’s work processes. As Marvin Gaye says in one of his song titles, I am a Stubborn Kind of Fellow, especially about social issues.

According to my Encarta Dictionary, one meaning of respect is esteem: a feeling or attitude of admiration and deference toward somebody or something, as winning colleagues’ respect.

Another definition is the state of being admired: The state of being admired deferentially.

And finally, characteristic: an individual characteristic or point. … satisfactory in all respects.  

From my perspective, it all points toward a person who should attempt to produce cooperation between all parties involved. Or at least as many as one can. Look at it from another viewpoint: a team cannot only show up, they still must play the game. That is, play it in a way that supports each player.  

As note, an entire generation of people think “give me my respect” should be an international law. Here is a thought: a person can love themselves and still be critical of making stupid decisions based upon inaccurate information or assumptions. There are no magic potions, selfish one-person-show, perfect individuals that will get everything done correctly. One can even imagine God looking on to see how successful the cooperating group can be with each other.

Everyone must bring something to the table for success, no matter the number of people or size of the organization. It also applies to couples, two friends, and family members’ attitudes towards each other. The idea is to realize a successful effort, maximizing your probabilities of achievement. That way, everyone wins, all walking away from the table happy with a feeling of accomplishment. There is no better feeling than being part of a successful group accomplishment. 

This can also work as a one-person project if you know where and who to go to for input about your idea. Instead of trying to make things work by communicating right, wrong, or indifferent, at least the parties are trying to talk it out. Some give up because they are too sensitive about someone hurting their feelings instead of concentrating on reaching a logical conclusion between all involved. There lies another problem with some folks. They are too sensitive in their interpretation of what another person says, and their concentration on the job is almost null and void. No one person lives in this world alone except a very lonely individual. I would much rather be known as a people person than an introvert who somehow reaches the wrong conclusion because they are debating themselves most inaccurately. To go through life as if you have it all together with yourself is stupid. It goes back to that old warning: he who selects themselves as their legal representative has a fool for a lawyer.

One of the first steps I took to reach maturity was to promise myself that I would no longer lie to myself. It’s a simple life. No need to complicate it with half-truths, misplaced observations, or downright lies to yourself to make you look good to who, yourself? Get real, please. It would be best to use personal or peer criticism as a steppingstone to self-improvement. You will find the road of life without several complications and a more leisurely trip to maneuver.

Remember, you and only you are in control of how you react to people’s right or wrong observations of you. Folks talked about Jesus Christ. You, my friend, must live your life to your expectations. And no rule says you can’t change how you associate it with whoever. Always treat people how you want to be treated; your associations will be much kinder and more natural.  

So, the next time you read or hear of somebody asking for respect with no concrete plan on how to earn the same. Realize you are dealing with a selfish individual who is immature regarding project building, workable solutions to ideas, or sustained process accomplishments—the size of the project matter. Surprise, they also like the qualities required to become involved in a loving and successful relationship.

 I’ve been involved in successful endeavors as well as failed projects. As you can guess, successful projects are the most rewarding. Working with others to reach a common goal gives a person a warm feeling. In the end, we are all working toward a prompt conclusion so that we may get into the real fun and games of everyday living. Think about that for a moment. At least, that’s my motivation. 

 Peace, blessings, stay healthy and be vigilant for our American rights. Make it a day in which Jesus Christ would be proud of you,

Codis Hampton II                                                                                                                        Author & Commentator

“The Episodic Thoughts of Hamp, Vol II” has been published. Check out my author webpage URL                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Join us for our live or Internet broadcast of bi-monthly BTR R&B or Smooth Jazz Musical at Or play the broadcast at your leisure.

Follow Hamp at our Parent Company/Sponsor CHIIA Group at

Copyright 2011 Codis Hampton II, all rights reserved. A bi-weekly blog for your enjoyment

Leave a comment