Folks who don’t believe in talking are missing the point

The last article we wrote was about many people discussing this, that, and the other. Often, they’re talking to family, associates, and friends about whatever.

Well, this article is about those who keep to themselves. You know…the ones you can barely get a hello from, much less a complete sentence. They say they are busy, don’t have time, or have nothing to say to you.

An old saying indicates that you will undoubtedly speak to the deceased at their gravesite if you don’t talk to family, friends, or acquaintances while they are alive. I don’t know about you, but I love a two-way conversation rather than a one-way, especially if the person is deceased.

Like many of you, I had problems with my parents, a few other relatives, and many acquaintances. Out of respect, I concluded people will not be who you want them to be. They, especially my older generation, are who they are; that is what you get around them. I, being an old-school admirer, simply because of the Jim Crow crap they had to endure, found their conversations enlightening. Most of my Arkansas-bred folk didn’t have a high school education. Yet, they were intelligent and capable of getting things done to support their family while enjoying a particular lifestyle. They were indeed men and women of substance.

On the other hand, I have no issues talking to anybody. If anything, I may have talked too much in my younger days. I got better at it as I matured. I learned to be respectful of folk’s feelings. That didn’t mean I lied to them or didn’t mention certain subjects. It just meant I learned how to speak to people without being offensive. I checked my attitude, putting it on the shelf. People want to get things done while allowing relationships to flourish. That was a perfect way to approach a project, no matter how small or large. My father warned me, “Boy, think before you say something.” Frankly, I have continued to learn ways of communicating in my field of employment. Yet I maintained an edge where I could speak in specific business terms using street verbiage. It was very seldom that I had to use that tactic, but it was at my disposal. The point I am making here is that people of color must be comfortable in either environment. You should be articulate in the boardroom or just as real on the corner.

And just as an aside, nobody should ever have trouble speaking to their mother, father, relatives, friends, or associates. If they cannot find the time or words to talk with the group mentioned above, they only need to look in the mirror to find the source of their problem. Regardless of their feelings at a particular time, people welcome honest conversations with almost anybody, especially their relatives. You don’t have to agree with each other’s approach to anything. That kind of outlook can be put on the shelf. Shared courtesy of how you are doing is all needed in a general conversational exchange. Yet you need to understand life is not always about what you want. Time is moving fast for us all, not just one person. I can’t speak for everybody, but I don’t carry on personal conversations on social media or the internet. Call me, write to me, and we can have a conversation.   

My wife and I are in the baby boomers age bracket. Recently, we have lost more than a few friends. Of course, we’ve lost family members, including parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and playing cousins. It was just a lot of people we grew up knowing, and we loved having them available to speak with, play cards with, or hang out with. Sometimes, it gets to you after realizing these folks are no longer alive. One tends to retreat into one’s inner cycle, which has suddenly gotten smaller. I would love to be able to talk to my mother about those sorry Green Bay Packers. Or even my dad about the places he fished last weekend. I miss speaking with those two the most. I cannot think of a better place to find out who you are or where you came from than asking a parent. I wouldn’t attempt to speak with them on social media. Again, I will not carry on a personal conversation with you on Facebook—a general hello, etc., yes, but a deeper discussion, no. The shame is that some view this as personal contact with a person.

Do yourself a favor and make your relative proud. Show them you have more respect for yourself rather than exposing yourself to impress your social media friends. That is my advice for the day.  

Peace, blessings, stay healthy and be vigilant for our American rights. Make it a day in which Jesus Christ would be proud of you,

Codis Hampton II                                                                                                                                                    Author & Commentator

“The Episodic Thoughts of Hamp, Vol II” has been published. Check out my author webpage URL                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

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Copyright 2011 Codis Hampton II, all rights reserved. A bi-weekly blog for your enjoyment

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